Say Cheese!

I believe that photos are very important part of our lives. They preserve our memories, our happiness and also our sadness. Some photos remind us of what we have left behind. Others show us how far we have come. They hold in themselves a lifetime of love, happiness, tears, joys, events and so much more. Those who know me, know that I love taking photos. Selfies and nature and people, all I need is a camera and light.

My first camera was a Kodak KB10. With a reel of 36, it gave me the chance to capture all the moments I wanted to. I have albums full of the photos I used to take. The precise way we had to take a picture because the reel was limited and the excitement of having the photos developed was an altogether different experience.

That was soon replaced by digital camera, specifically the camera in my mobile phone. With an unlimited opportunity to take photos, I took photos everyday, everywhere. These were the memories after all.

This habit of taking photos continued and when Little Miss was born, I just went click-click-click everyday, with her every smile, every movement, every new dress. If you chance upon looking at my phone gallery, you will find hundreds of photos of the time when she was little.

But as she is growing up, I am finding it so difficult to click her pictures. She is not exactly camera shy but to find her in the right mood is turning out to be more challenging than I expected. I try to coax her, bribe her, shower kisses, whistle to her, sing songs but it is proving to be one impossible task these days.

The moment she realises that the phone is poised to take photos, she either goes away, turns her face away or gets too close to the camera. When she was younger, all it took was the word “selfie” to get her to look into the camera and smile. And now, it takes whole lot of patience and few dozen prayers to the Gods to help me take one decent picture.

But then, we all know she is a special child with an enchanting smile and big beautiful eyes, so all the hard work results in some great photos that we cherish and it’s totally worth it 💕.


Observation is All it Takes

Over the last few years, as entertainment has spread its roots through digital means, various platforms have multitude of programs for children. I know we are not supposed to expose our kids to mobile phones and stuff. Screen time is not good for them. But sometimes you just have to give in.

In our case it’s nursery rhymes and pre-school educational shows on YouTube whenever Little Miss wants. Quite recently, she has also started showing her interest in musical videos with children. When she enjoys a particular song, she laughs and always turns around to look at whoever is with her to share her liking.

Since Little Miss is not yet speaking and cannot operate the Tab yet, she is dependent on us, the grown ups to turn it on and play songs for her. One day she was playing with her toys when she suddenly went to our room and started crying. She would try to go to the corner where the tab was charging and make her Grandma understand something. When she would not understand, Little Miss would start crying again. It took her a few minutes to realise that her grand daughter was asking for her tab but when she did, Little Miss got her wish to watch some of her favourite songs. Then came the happy smile. Aah! It’s so wonderful, you could sit and watch her smile whole day.

When you have a child who doesn’t speak or points at what they want, you start picking on their gestures and behaviour. There is always a tell as to when they are getting hungry, thirsty or sleepy. Same way, we observe and we know what Little Miss wants or likes or dislikes. It’s exactly like when your child is small and won’t go to a certain uncle or aunt no matter how hard they try. It’s just a simple fact that your kid does not like that person. You just have to focus on the gestures.

So for now, we focus on her activities and one day I know Little Miss will start making demands and we will fulfill all the genuine ones happily.

And if you want to know my favourite, it’s “All the animals are playing in the band, they’re having so much fun..” 😊


Hello from Little Miss and Her Mom

Motherhood doesn’t come with a book. There are no answers at the back, no cheat codes, no shortcuts here. All you have is you, your baby and the moment. That one moment where you go through the worst imaginable pain and the best imaginable feeling. That moment when you change from a pregnant lady to a Mom is the best moment.

When I look back at the time Little Miss was born, a lot of memories are hazy but I do remember the pain and the joy when I looked at my new born daughter’s face. Ok, even that’s a little hazy but it’s mainly because I hadn’t thought of asking one of the nurses to carry my spectacles with her. That may have given me a clearer vision.

If you were to ask a mother how her child is doing and she will be full of awesome stories of the child’s latest antics. Ask a mother of a special child how her child is doing and the answer will depend on the kind of day the child and mother are having. If it’s a good day, her stories too will be full of laughter. But, if the day has not started well, there will be no story. Only a sentence or a non-committal shrug.

Joys of motherhood really is dependent upon how your kid is doing and this is something I’ve come to realise over the past few years as I watch my kid grow, or as I hope that she grows.

My kid is just one month shy of turning 4 and as you may have guessed by now, she is a special needs child. It is Autism Spectrum Disorder but complete picture may not be clear for some time. Questions like how and why have no answers here. It is as it is. Something random like the cards you are dealt with in a game.

After almost a year long deliberation, I have decided that I am going to take you down this path with me. I will share with you this journey that has happy and sad moments. The special days that we spend with our special child who just has to smile to make our day perfect and lives just a little better. When she looks at the picture of a lion or tiger and roars, the hardwork of roaring everyday is rewarded. We have our little joys, they may be few and far between but they are sweeter than anything. I will celebrate my little triumphs here and may share my frequent failures too.

Until next time, Little Miss and her Mom say Bye.