Motherhood doesn’t come with a book. There are no answers at the back, no cheat codes, no shortcuts here. All you have is you, your baby and the moment. That one moment where you go through the worst imaginable pain and the best imaginable feeling. That moment when you change from a pregnant lady to a Mom is the best moment.

When I look back at the time Little Miss was born, a lot of memories are hazy but I do remember the pain and the joy when I looked at my new born daughter’s face. Ok, even that’s a little hazy but it’s mainly because I hadn’t thought of asking one of the nurses to carry my spectacles with her. That may have given me a clearer vision.

If you were to ask a mother how her child is doing and she will be full of awesome stories of the child’s latest antics. Ask a mother of a special child how her child is doing and the answer will depend on the kind of day the child and mother are having. If it’s a good day, her stories too will be full of laughter. But, if the day has not started well, there will be no story. Only a sentence or a non-committal shrug.

Joys of motherhood really is dependent upon how your kid is doing and this is something I’ve come to realise over the past few years as I watch my kid grow, or as I hope that she grows.

My kid is just one month shy of turning 4 and as you may have guessed by now, she is a special needs child. It is Autism Spectrum Disorder but complete picture may not be clear for some time. Questions like how and why have no answers here. It is as it is. Something random like the cards you are dealt with in a game.

After almost a year long deliberation, I have decided that I am going to take you down this path with me. I will share with you this journey that has happy and sad moments. The special days that we spend with our special child who just has to smile to make our day perfect and lives just a little better. When she looks at the picture of a lion or tiger and roars, the hardwork of roaring everyday is rewarded. We have our little joys, they may be few and far between but they are sweeter than anything. I will celebrate my little triumphs here and may share my frequent failures too.

Until next time, Little Miss and her Mom say Bye.